Hannah's Here

Hannah arrived on Sept.22nd via c-section. Beautiful. Reddish hair. 7lb 14 oz 19 in. Chubby little baby.

Got to hold her for a minute. She's in NICU at a children's hospital dealing with the issues that were found in utero, and some unexpected ones as well.

Please pray for her.

First surgery possibly today. We are quite busy - therefore not much updates unfortunately. It's going to be a long road.

Still Here!

We're still here! Still pregnant : ) Not much new to report, just have been very busy with getting ready. Over a week ago I had a crazy bout with false labor. About 2 1/2 days STRAIGHT of horrible contractions 4-10 minutes apart. Crazy stuff, people... crazy. Never had that with my son, so that was quite a new experience. We were at the hospital a few times... the first time they were able to stop the labor (I started out "regular"..."real" labor) because I was only 35 weeks. However, the next day I was 36 weeks so they would no longer "stop" the labor. Crazy. I think I'm finally ready for that c-section after all! : )

Hannah is growing beautifully. Each ultrasound appointment in the past month or so has been perfect. She is growing, moving, reacting just as she should be... we are happy about that. At the last ultrasound, the tech announced that Hannah has lots of hair! Funny since my husband and I were totally bald as babies...for the first year or so of our lives! I was trying to picture a mini-me with hair : ) Needless to say, I questioned the tech on how she could see the hair - she showed me, and sure enough - it's there!

I am starting to feel somewhat ready to take on the challenge of the first few days after her birth. Although, I just told my husband last night there really is no way to prepare your heart for that. How do you prepare for being separating from your baby right after birth? How do you prepare for not being able to nurse her for several hours after birth - which is an instinct that happens so naturally? It's another thing to trust God for - trust Him for caring for my mama's heart after delivery - He knows how painful it will be, He knows how "unnatural" it will feel... He will prepare my heart - it's not up to me.

My mom is coming to visit in a few days!! She will be with us for about 3 weeks, and I could not be happier about that. Talk about daughters being separated from their Mama's! It'll be soooo nice to have her here with me during that difficult/exciting/anxious time.

That's all for now - thank you all for your continued prayers. God is answering them!! I can't wait to share with you as the story unfolds. Again, I truly appreciate you understanding why were keeping it "low" for awhile, during the weeks that are most tender & sensitive. We will be returning to the blog. We won't leave you totally in the dark. As a reminder, here's our email address to contact us for the CaringBridge site we will have for Hannah during the next month or so: joseph.erika@verizon.net

*Website Changes*

We're still here... no changes... nothing much new! Just about 3 weeks to go before the big delivery day. We are so eager to meet our sweet girl - excitement, anticipation, anxiety... all in one!

My friend Becky will be updating the blog, CaringBridge site, and facebook when the time comes for us to go to the hospital.

Speaking of CaringBridge, I have set up a new site to use for baby Hannah for the next few months. I wanted something somewhat more private & secure, yet available for those who still want to follow her story.

If you send me an email, I will send you the direct link to her CaringBridge site. Please don't hesitate to email me. My email address is: joseph.erika@verizon.net

Becky will post the very basic details on here (baby's arrival, etc) but limited details of anything else, and no pictures of her will be posted here right away. I will still keep this blog, I just won't be updating it for a few months. Thank you for understanding, and don't hesitate to email me....

Baby Update (and Blogger issues*)

*Please bear with me as I am working on rearranging things on this blog. Blogger has been giving me issues, and sometimes I find time in the day to work on it - but it may take awhile. Thanks for putting up with me. Oh - the picture at the top is a 4D one of Hannah's beautiful face! I cried when I saw it on the big screen as they were working on getting a cute shot of her... I love it! Of course, I can't figure out yet how to reconfigure the picture setting so I can get a collage to fit on this blog layout. Someday...

Speaking of Hannah, we do have some news on her condition. We found out that she has something "mysterious" going on with her 2nd X chromosome. As most of you may know, boys have an X and Y sex chromosomes and girls have two X's. She clearly has two X's, there is no question or concern about her gender, it's just that one of the X's is missing a piece, and has some "unknown piece" added to it. This of course, threw everyone off (the doctors, specialists, lab scientists, etc) because it did not "fit their molds". They aren't able to explain it. All they can say is that it IS the cause of all of her numerous issues right now, though (enlarged ventricles in the brain, heart defect, cyst on bellybutton/cord area, 2 vessel cord, etc).

So what we know is that she has some sort of X chromosome abnormality. We just don't know what it is. According to the geneticists, her numerous conditions don't match up to any of the common, well known syndromes. This came as quite a shock to us, but we have had some time to process it. We have come to realize fully that we may never know exactly what is going on with our precious girl, and we are 100% ok with that. It took some time to get there, though. In a way, I am somewhat grateful for this "mystery syndrome" because it keeps confusing our doctors, and most importantly it creates a huge open opportunity for God to show His all-knowing, all-loving power in this situation. It is also a wonderful opportunity for an amazing miracle by our Mighty God! We remain eternally hopeful for baby Hannah's life... we love her JUST as she is, and we're looking forward to meeting her very soon.

Just a side note of 'praise' here: we met Hannah's neurologist, Dr. B. He was SUCH A RELIEF... compared to all of the other doctors and specialists that she has. He's like an old Grandpa... very sweet man, explained everything SO clearly to us, and spent ample time making sure we were comfortable with the information and understood it clearly. Plus - most importantly, he is a Christian...very encouraging! He also offered a wonderful program for Hannah to be involved in after she's born, that will last throughout her childhood as long as she needs it - it helps monitor her brain development and helps with any delays or brain issues she may have. Such a comfort to know that! God keeps providing for all of us, above and beyond what we could even think... we are so grateful.

We will be meeting with the NICU doctors next week, as Hannah will be spending some time there after she is born. I'll update you then, unless something comes up before. Thank you all so much for your emails, FB messages, and comments of support on here - we have been so blessed and surprised at how many people have been reaching out to us. Thank you! Please keep praying for our strength and endurance... we are in the home-stretch, now... and have many many "unknowns" coming up before/after her birth.

Answer To Prayer - Part One

Just got the initial results back from the doctor - which were the 3 main chromosome issues. The rest of the results take longer and we will know by next week. Baby Hannah tested negative for the two most fatal chromosome issues - Trisomy 13 and 18!! She also tested negative for Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome)...which is good, but we weren't nearly as concerned about that as we were the fatal ones.

Doctors still aren't very "hopeful" or "positive" but we know they aren't exactly in control : ) As I've said quite often, God knows how Hannah was made - He knows far more than any of us do. So glad that He is the one guiding this journey...

Thank you for your prayers - keep continuing! She is not "out of the woods" yet, but we are certainly grateful to rule out a few of the possible issues.

Beautiful

Baby Hannah is growing beautifully. That was the positive report from my high-risk doctor. We had our favorite high-risk doctor doing the ultrasounds and various other tests yesterday. She is awesome. Baby Hannah always cooperates for her - coincidence? I doubt it ; ) Hannah seems to have a good sense of people already...that's my girl! Results from the tests will come at the end of this week at the earliest. I'll update as soon as I can.

Everything is still the same otherwise. She has possible clubbed foot, but that's the least of our worries right now - doesn't worry me in the least. She is beautiful. Hannah is thriving now - inside the womb - I just pray that she can thrive beautifully once she is born. I know God hears our prayers...and I know He knows the what the future holds. I thank God that Hannah is growing beautifully - and thank Him for giving her this life right now... she has made it a long way already.

I haven't been able to express how deeply I feel about my daughter and all her issues right now. The feelings go too deep... too tender... just no way to adequately describe what is going on in my heart. I will say, however, whenever I pray - or ask for prayer - a certain song comes to mind. Whenever I talk about "all I want for her is to live..." the same song comes to mind. I hear it often on the radio, and it brings me to tears, at times I have to turn it off. It was sung at my cousin's funeral - so it has extra meaning, as well. The song is "Give Me Jesus", sung by Jeremy Camp. Simple words, but good words. The perspective this song portrays is the perspective we all should have - I am struggling with that right now - but only with the line that says "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus..." When I get to that line in the song, that's when I change the channel, or quit listening. To be honest, I struggle with that - what if God asks me to give up my daughter? I hate thinking about that. Hate it. But it is reality. It's hard to explain to people unless you are facing the same thing right now with your unborn child - I don't expect anyone to understand what it's like to be faced with this reality. I pray that I don't have to, however - I also pray that God would prepare my heart if I do need to. I will close this post with the song "Give Me Jesus" by Jeremy Camp.

More Appointments....

This Monday at 3:00pm we have another high-risk appointment/ultrasound/ and more testing done. It's going to take at least a few hours. Please pray... there's a bit more to this appointment than usual.

Mixed feelings of course... definitely becoming more anxious as time goes on...

Thank you...