*Website Changes*

We're still here... no changes... nothing much new! Just about 3 weeks to go before the big delivery day. We are so eager to meet our sweet girl - excitement, anticipation, anxiety... all in one!

My friend Becky will be updating the blog, CaringBridge site, and facebook when the time comes for us to go to the hospital.

Speaking of CaringBridge, I have set up a new site to use for baby Hannah for the next few months. I wanted something somewhat more private & secure, yet available for those who still want to follow her story.

If you send me an email, I will send you the direct link to her CaringBridge site. Please don't hesitate to email me. My email address is: joseph.erika@verizon.net

Becky will post the very basic details on here (baby's arrival, etc) but limited details of anything else, and no pictures of her will be posted here right away. I will still keep this blog, I just won't be updating it for a few months. Thank you for understanding, and don't hesitate to email me....

Baby Update (and Blogger issues*)

*Please bear with me as I am working on rearranging things on this blog. Blogger has been giving me issues, and sometimes I find time in the day to work on it - but it may take awhile. Thanks for putting up with me. Oh - the picture at the top is a 4D one of Hannah's beautiful face! I cried when I saw it on the big screen as they were working on getting a cute shot of her... I love it! Of course, I can't figure out yet how to reconfigure the picture setting so I can get a collage to fit on this blog layout. Someday...

Speaking of Hannah, we do have some news on her condition. We found out that she has something "mysterious" going on with her 2nd X chromosome. As most of you may know, boys have an X and Y sex chromosomes and girls have two X's. She clearly has two X's, there is no question or concern about her gender, it's just that one of the X's is missing a piece, and has some "unknown piece" added to it. This of course, threw everyone off (the doctors, specialists, lab scientists, etc) because it did not "fit their molds". They aren't able to explain it. All they can say is that it IS the cause of all of her numerous issues right now, though (enlarged ventricles in the brain, heart defect, cyst on bellybutton/cord area, 2 vessel cord, etc).

So what we know is that she has some sort of X chromosome abnormality. We just don't know what it is. According to the geneticists, her numerous conditions don't match up to any of the common, well known syndromes. This came as quite a shock to us, but we have had some time to process it. We have come to realize fully that we may never know exactly what is going on with our precious girl, and we are 100% ok with that. It took some time to get there, though. In a way, I am somewhat grateful for this "mystery syndrome" because it keeps confusing our doctors, and most importantly it creates a huge open opportunity for God to show His all-knowing, all-loving power in this situation. It is also a wonderful opportunity for an amazing miracle by our Mighty God! We remain eternally hopeful for baby Hannah's life... we love her JUST as she is, and we're looking forward to meeting her very soon.

Just a side note of 'praise' here: we met Hannah's neurologist, Dr. B. He was SUCH A RELIEF... compared to all of the other doctors and specialists that she has. He's like an old Grandpa... very sweet man, explained everything SO clearly to us, and spent ample time making sure we were comfortable with the information and understood it clearly. Plus - most importantly, he is a Christian...very encouraging! He also offered a wonderful program for Hannah to be involved in after she's born, that will last throughout her childhood as long as she needs it - it helps monitor her brain development and helps with any delays or brain issues she may have. Such a comfort to know that! God keeps providing for all of us, above and beyond what we could even think... we are so grateful.

We will be meeting with the NICU doctors next week, as Hannah will be spending some time there after she is born. I'll update you then, unless something comes up before. Thank you all so much for your emails, FB messages, and comments of support on here - we have been so blessed and surprised at how many people have been reaching out to us. Thank you! Please keep praying for our strength and endurance... we are in the home-stretch, now... and have many many "unknowns" coming up before/after her birth.

Answer To Prayer - Part One

Just got the initial results back from the doctor - which were the 3 main chromosome issues. The rest of the results take longer and we will know by next week. Baby Hannah tested negative for the two most fatal chromosome issues - Trisomy 13 and 18!! She also tested negative for Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome)...which is good, but we weren't nearly as concerned about that as we were the fatal ones.

Doctors still aren't very "hopeful" or "positive" but we know they aren't exactly in control : ) As I've said quite often, God knows how Hannah was made - He knows far more than any of us do. So glad that He is the one guiding this journey...

Thank you for your prayers - keep continuing! She is not "out of the woods" yet, but we are certainly grateful to rule out a few of the possible issues.

Beautiful

Baby Hannah is growing beautifully. That was the positive report from my high-risk doctor. We had our favorite high-risk doctor doing the ultrasounds and various other tests yesterday. She is awesome. Baby Hannah always cooperates for her - coincidence? I doubt it ; ) Hannah seems to have a good sense of people already...that's my girl! Results from the tests will come at the end of this week at the earliest. I'll update as soon as I can.

Everything is still the same otherwise. She has possible clubbed foot, but that's the least of our worries right now - doesn't worry me in the least. She is beautiful. Hannah is thriving now - inside the womb - I just pray that she can thrive beautifully once she is born. I know God hears our prayers...and I know He knows the what the future holds. I thank God that Hannah is growing beautifully - and thank Him for giving her this life right now... she has made it a long way already.

I haven't been able to express how deeply I feel about my daughter and all her issues right now. The feelings go too deep... too tender... just no way to adequately describe what is going on in my heart. I will say, however, whenever I pray - or ask for prayer - a certain song comes to mind. Whenever I talk about "all I want for her is to live..." the same song comes to mind. I hear it often on the radio, and it brings me to tears, at times I have to turn it off. It was sung at my cousin's funeral - so it has extra meaning, as well. The song is "Give Me Jesus", sung by Jeremy Camp. Simple words, but good words. The perspective this song portrays is the perspective we all should have - I am struggling with that right now - but only with the line that says "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus..." When I get to that line in the song, that's when I change the channel, or quit listening. To be honest, I struggle with that - what if God asks me to give up my daughter? I hate thinking about that. Hate it. But it is reality. It's hard to explain to people unless you are facing the same thing right now with your unborn child - I don't expect anyone to understand what it's like to be faced with this reality. I pray that I don't have to, however - I also pray that God would prepare my heart if I do need to. I will close this post with the song "Give Me Jesus" by Jeremy Camp.

More Appointments....

This Monday at 3:00pm we have another high-risk appointment/ultrasound/ and more testing done. It's going to take at least a few hours. Please pray... there's a bit more to this appointment than usual.

Mixed feelings of course... definitely becoming more anxious as time goes on...

Thank you...

A Letter To My Girl

Dear Hannah Joy,

I don't have much to say these days, just many thoughts. So...I decided to write a letter to you. Many doctors and specialists are watching us closely to make sure you and I both are in good health. Daddy and I are grateful for that. In less that 8 weeks we get to meet you! We are excited, but admittedly anxious. We are excited to meet you, however the doctors tell us they found some things in your body that aren't working as they should be...so we are anxious about that. Daddy and I know that God is in control, and He created you just as you are!

Big brother Micah has grown to love you more and more each day. Many times a day he will stop what he is doing and run over to me and hug you (my stomach), and say "I love Hannah", or "Nite Nite Hannah!". He loves to give you many kisses, too. The other day he felt you kick him and he jumped back saying "Oh no!"... it was very precious. I love how you get excited when you hear his voice! He sure loves to talk about "Baby Hannah". He loves you, little girl, and I know he can't wait to meet you, either.

I love to feel you move inside of me. You are wild! Your Aunt Sarah said you probably have bright red hair - (just like Mama did - which would explain your wild nature) ... that made me laugh! I love that you love church. You love to "dance" during worship time, and you are quite active when listening to the Pastor preach! Your big brother was that way too when he was growing inside of me. Most of all, I love when you hear your Daddy's voice. You immediately react - if you have been calm and still, as soon as you hear him you kick and roll, and wait for him to come talk to you : ) It is precious beyond words, sweet girl. You have already stolen your Daddy's heart!

We are praying for you every day, as are many people across the country. You have many family and friends that love you so much...keep growing strong, baby girl - you are in God's hands... the safest place to be! We love you so much, and are looking forward to seeing you soon.

Love,
Your Mama

Appointments

We have an appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist and a Pediatric Urologist this Thursday (back to back) at the Children's Hospital. Going to look at Hannah's heart, kidneys & bladder more closely. Please pray the appointments go smoothly. For some reason I'm not looking forward to it - feeling a bit anxious. This begins the mass amount of frequent appointments (high-risk, regular pre-natal, and various specialists) between now and delivery time.