Please forgive my tired brain : ) I wrote this late last night, and I need to clarify one very important statement in it... see the asterisk below for the correction....
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Thought I'd do a new post, rather than constantly adding on to the previously updated post. I'm kind of beyond the point of feeling overwhelmed right now - just pretty much feeling "numb". I'm to the point where each time I hear something new about the baby, I end up shrugging and saying (sometimes out-loud) "it's not in my hands...". I don't really find myself reacting the same way I did before - I may cry on occasion, but mostly I find myself becoming more "quiet". The pain seems too deep to touch sometimes. I believe God is giving me this "quietness" to help me process everything, and to help remind me that He is in control. This baby is our little miracle, regardless of what any tests show, regardless of what Baby's outcome will be. Despite my hurts, fears, and all the negative outcomes of tests done on Baby, *never in my life have I felt closer to God than I do now. Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone else, but it makes perfect sense to me. I honestly have never questioned God in this entire situation. I have had no reason to. He gave us this child... He created this child... He knows what is best for this child -and for that, I am grateful.
The high-risk doctors office called with the results of the MRI. Here are the prayer requests from that:
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Thought I'd do a new post, rather than constantly adding on to the previously updated post. I'm kind of beyond the point of feeling overwhelmed right now - just pretty much feeling "numb". I'm to the point where each time I hear something new about the baby, I end up shrugging and saying (sometimes out-loud) "it's not in my hands...". I don't really find myself reacting the same way I did before - I may cry on occasion, but mostly I find myself becoming more "quiet". The pain seems too deep to touch sometimes. I believe God is giving me this "quietness" to help me process everything, and to help remind me that He is in control. This baby is our little miracle, regardless of what any tests show, regardless of what Baby's outcome will be. Despite my hurts, fears, and all the negative outcomes of tests done on Baby, *never in my life have I felt closer to God than I do now. Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone else, but it makes perfect sense to me. I honestly have never questioned God in this entire situation. I have had no reason to. He gave us this child... He created this child... He knows what is best for this child -and for that, I am grateful.
The high-risk doctors office called with the results of the MRI. Here are the prayer requests from that:
- It confirmed the mild case of hydrocephalus. We'll continue meeting with the Pediatric Neurologist.
- Somewhat of a praise - the MRI did not show the hole in the heart, however they were able to see the heart more closely -and are still very concerned about the condition & positioning of it. Again, nothing really new there.
- It showed a much clearer view of the elongated bladder, which was a bit alarming to the doctors - and now want me to meet with a Pediatric Urologist to have them look at the kidneys and bladder more closely.
Thank you for your prayers & encouragement... we do appreciate each of you.
Love
Erika
Erika,
ReplyDeleteSo glad for an update. I understand those numb feelings... fearful feelings... yet somehow peaceful feelings. Just keep trusting, leaning and knowing that NO MATTER WHAT, God will remain faithful.
I put an announcement on my blog.
Love,
Lynnette
It is that peace that passes our understanding..that we cannot explain but is so real that only comes from God and is such a testimony - thanks for sharing from your heart. I will be praying for you and your little miracle.
ReplyDeletePraying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog thru the link on Lynette's...
ReplyDeleteWe're facing a similar difficulty in our pregnancy right now in relation to the kidney/bladder area, so we will DEFINITELY be praying for you!
Thank you for your update.
ReplyDeleteYou are still in my prayers.
yes - it makes sense that you feel closer to God at this point...We often do when things are so far out of our control ~ or we react we anger and bitterness.
ReplyDeleteKnow that people all over are praying for you and your special baby!