Psalm 139:13-14

"For you created my inmost being...you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Beautiful

Baby Hannah is growing beautifully. That was the positive report from my high-risk doctor. We had our favorite high-risk doctor doing the ultrasounds and various other tests yesterday. She is awesome. Baby Hannah always cooperates for her - coincidence? I doubt it ; ) Hannah seems to have a good sense of people already...that's my girl! Results from the tests will come at the end of this week at the earliest. I'll update as soon as I can.

Everything is still the same otherwise. She has possible clubbed foot, but that's the least of our worries right now - doesn't worry me in the least. She is beautiful. Hannah is thriving now - inside the womb - I just pray that she can thrive beautifully once she is born. I know God hears our prayers...and I know He knows the what the future holds. I thank God that Hannah is growing beautifully - and thank Him for giving her this life right now... she has made it a long way already.

I haven't been able to express how deeply I feel about my daughter and all her issues right now. The feelings go too deep... too tender... just no way to adequately describe what is going on in my heart. I will say, however, whenever I pray - or ask for prayer - a certain song comes to mind. Whenever I talk about "all I want for her is to live..." the same song comes to mind. I hear it often on the radio, and it brings me to tears, at times I have to turn it off. It was sung at my cousin's funeral - so it has extra meaning, as well. The song is "Give Me Jesus", sung by Jeremy Camp. Simple words, but good words. The perspective this song portrays is the perspective we all should have - I am struggling with that right now - but only with the line that says "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus..." When I get to that line in the song, that's when I change the channel, or quit listening. To be honest, I struggle with that - what if God asks me to give up my daughter? I hate thinking about that. Hate it. But it is reality. It's hard to explain to people unless you are facing the same thing right now with your unborn child - I don't expect anyone to understand what it's like to be faced with this reality. I pray that I don't have to, however - I also pray that God would prepare my heart if I do need to. I will close this post with the song "Give Me Jesus" by Jeremy Camp.

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